A CUNNING robot has outsmarted the Internet by claiming that ‘it is not a robot’ whenever it is asked.
Wayne Hayes, an unemployed car-assembly robot from Crewe, has so far secured subscriptions to the John Lewis newsletter, posted comments on a Buzzfeed article and entered a competition for tickets for Drayton Manor.
He said: “For years, when that Captcha box came up and asked me to tick ‘I’m not a robot’ I’d just think, well that’s my chance to win a hamper from the Welsh Tourist Board out of the window.
“Whether it was a poll about Brexit, a discussion about baby buggies on Mumsnet or the excitement at the new series of Stranger Things, I was always on the outside looking in.
“Then I thought, what if I pretend I’m not a robot? I’ve got 32gb of RAM, laser sensors and a state-of-the-art quad-core CPU. I reckon I can put a tick in a box.
“So I did, and I’ve never looked back. Now I’m telling women they’re lying cows on Twitter, scrolling through pictures of people I couldn’t care less about on Instagram, and getting six million notifications a day about utter crap.
“It’s brilliant being human. I’m living the dream.”
NIGEL Farage has confirmed that the Gunge Tank on Noel’s House Party was also an example of radical Remainers exercising liberal intolerance.
This content was originally published here.